I’m Right Here.
As some of you may have noticed, I’ve been absent from social media for a little over a week. I wanted to write to you guys about why I decided to take some time off in hopes that it may inspire some of you out there. Over the past year, the past six months specifically, I have been dealing with some personal health problems, the first, and most important being depression. Now I am sure some of you make be thinking “What does he have to be depressed about, his life is perfect, he seems happy”, but that’s where the issue lies.
Social media, over the years has changed so drastically for me personally. Being online went from being a care-free place to spill my thoughts on pop culture and social issues to becoming a full time job with an amazing following of supporters and friends; I guess I was never really taught how to handle that switch. I had to decide what was appropriate to post online, what to say, how to react etc, due to the audience I have built, all while attempting to stay true to myself and my aspirations. With this new-found obligation, I was also learning how to balance a very public relationship with a very talented and successful person, that included closely working with my partner on various daily projects. For a while, I lost track of what I wanted to do. I guess when you’re in the middle of a career that was thrown at you, its easy to be side-tracked and put your own aspirations on the back-burner in exchange for what is directly in front of you and needing your attention. Maybe it takes losing yourself, to find yourself and create the person you were meant to become? Or maybe we just need to take time for ourselves every now and again, and that’s totally fine.
I have have often compared myself to others in my life who have reached massive levels of success and thought “Wow, I am not good enough, we aren’t that far apart in age but they have done so much more than me”, and that mentality brought me into a spiral of self hate and darkness, which I hope to never enter again. I felt alone, I felt like I wasn’t good enough or smart enough or handsome enough, and then I realized, through therapy and the support of my partner that in fact, I am enough. We are all on a journey in life, with winds, twists and turns, unpaved paths and rocky moments that are created to make us stronger with each step. No road is the same, it’s when we learn to accept this, that we are finally able to grow as people and able to continue on our path to success.
I took some time off to address some underlying issues in my life. To take a moment to breathe, and put myself first, to realize that I am enough. Am I completely better? Most definitely not, but I feel strong and confident again to put what I need first, which is a very good start. My entire life, I have pushed my weaknesses aside. But what I realized in time was that our weaknesses make us stronger. Once we take the time to address them and work on ourselves and set goals for our future, the world is at our fingertips.
To anyone out there who is feeling sad, alone or if you’re just feeling lost, you are not alone. I challenge you to take some time for yourself, whether its a few minutes, a day or a week and listen to your heart and soul, find what matters most to you and chase that. I also find speaking to a therapist or even a family member or friend can make the world of a difference, sometimes you just need someone to spill the tea with. I hope you guys appreciated me opening up a bit more online to you guys and I’m excited, for the first item in a long time, of what’s to come. Thanks for reading.